Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Dogs Talking to God

My friend Cindy who, like so many of us loves her dog, sent me this and I had to share.

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

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Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

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Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

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Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, 

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and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

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Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Bad Dog?

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Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers,
beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

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Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

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Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

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Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a Good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. 

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 

7.  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table 

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

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    P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven….. may I have my testicles back?

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