Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Sexy!

A couple of days ago I received an invitation to a ladies get together and other than "it will be fun" received no other information on the night. 

Do I dress for crafting?

Do I dress like I'm going to meet the Queen?

Will we be hiking?

Drinks and appies?


Then it hit me.

This happened to me two years ago at our ladies club.

"Wear something comfy, and stretchy," the hostess said

What was there when I arrived?

A big shiny pole that went from  floor to ceiling and a woman, who was a stranger to me, in tights and a  leotard.


NOOOOOOOO!

Pole Dancing.....


Emma Grannon Pole Dancer

"Be sexy!"  the instructor shouted

Its hard to be sexy when sex is not on your mind but instead, humiliation ... and fear.

Maybe I could do the athletic route,  that she would confuse for sexy.

No.

"Pout your lips!"

My face was turning blue from trying to hang on upside down and not fall and crush my skull on the ceramic tiles below.

"Straddle the pole like you mean it"

Maybe a drink would help but then alcohol  not just loosens my inhibitions it also loosens my muscles to the point where they are noodle-like.

My ladies were cheering me on.  I was praying for a power outage and complete darkness.

My shirt was hanging over my face.  My torso was exposed.

Gravity, you are not my friend.

Sexy indeed.

yaletownkeg.com


4 comments:

Mark Himes said...

Wow! You are in great shape! I'm so glad that someone took pictures of you. But as sexy as you are, I'd rather you not straddle my pole.
m.

Razmataz said...

Yikes, I wouldn;t want to get ambushed with that one....

Blue Fruit said...

That was a fantastic laugh out loud read - what a hoot! It sounds absolutely terrifying, awful and humiliating! But full marks to you for having a go and getting into the spirit of the thing....I know I would have run a mile in the opposite direction! Brave girl!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

oh Joy......