Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Brothers in Arms
These past two weeks have been a hectic blur of life. Good things, bad things and just regular day to day things.
A friend posted on Facebook that she too has been overwhelmed with stuff to do, her boys have been stressed and fighting and she, busy like the rest of us, lost her cool and yelled at them.
She is now suffering from extreme mommy guilt as we all hate to yell at those we love.
I told her how I dealt with my boys when they would think they hated each other.
When they would argue and pick at each other they would have to sit on the stairs, side by side, holding hands.
Larger infractions, like a Hot Wheels to the head, required that they sit there hugging each other.
They were to talk about what made them angry, why they thought the other was wrong and should change, what a bad mom I was for making them sit on the stairs and in general try to sort through their feelings of anger and come to a better understanding. They could also talk about the fun they had sliding down these same stairs on couch cushions.
I didn't care what they talked about, they just had to talk - and hold hands, or hug.
Sometimes these sits on the stair were brief and sometimes they would last a lot longer.
The trips to the stairs became fewer and fewer as they came to understand my sisters favorite word "feelings". That its okay to have bad feelings (along with the ability to channel those feelings), how it is not okay to hurt others feelings and that you should only try to change yourself into being a better person and hopefully those around you will follow suit.
And I tell them to remember that siblings are the most important people in your life.
"One day you might need your brothers money - or a kidney - so be nice to him".