Literal

Rule #1:  listen carefully before speaking. 

 I arrived here from Manitoba for a job in the garment industry.  I knew no one and spent a lot of time making new friends and joining organizations - Childrens Hospital fund raisers, Playhouse theatre, baseball teams (I don't play baseball but there was beer).  

I was concerned about living here because nothing (nothing) was open on Sundays or after 5PM except on Thursday and Friday.

One evening I received a phone call, it was a local survey they said (in actuality they were selling 2 for 1 coupon books).  The question asked was about some restaurants, six I think she listed off. 

 Had I been to any of them?  Yes, I had.

'How did you find them?' she said

'Vernon's not a very big town' I said 'they were easy to find.'

Silence - kind of - with little huffing noises in the background.

I realized she was trying not to laugh out loud.

'No no' she sputtered, 'I meant did you like them?'

I was glad she couldn't see my red face.