Don't call 9-1-1

This morning I set my housecoat on fire..... while I was still in it. 
Smoke and Flames. 
It came to my attention first by the warmth followed closely by the pungent smell of the smoke.
 Luckily there was a wet cloth on the counter by the stove and I was able to extinguish the flames!  I took this unfortunate incident as an opportunity to warn the boys about the dangers of cooking with a gas stove - not as an opportunity to make fun of me.

 Right.   

Ready for the "home" they said, which reminds me of a story.......

About 5 years ago we went to Vancouver to visit my husband's grandma who, in her 90's,  was in a senior care home.  As "homes" go it was a pretty nice place.  Birds, a bunny, a cat, craft room for those who were able, music room, gardens, and nice staff - but still there was that smell, feel and look of "institution".
 We had a nice visit. 

On the way to the car at the end of the day, I stopped and said, 
"Everybody listen up - I have something to say" 

Me: "I don't want to be in a place like that when I'm old so  don't call 911"

Them:  "What do you mean?"

Me:  "If something happens, heart attack, illness, you know, don't call 911 for an ambulance to take me to the hospital"

Them:   "Like, never call 9-1-1-?  Ever?  You mean you don't want help?"

Me:  "No, I mean when I'm old"

Them:  "Well how will we  know?  You're already old!"

Me:  "Just get in the car!"